There are happy and unwelcome stressful events. Here are some tips to help you deal with each type of situations.

Happy stressful events

This process will help you keep a healthier perspective on your life as it is and where you can take it in the future.

Step one - Preparation

Whether it is a wedding, exam or starting a new job there will always be things to sort out and jobs to do if you want to get the best result:

Don't go into denial - problems and compromises are going to occur so face them early on to avoid them spiralling into uncontrollable stress.

Be realistic - we all want the perfect result but life is less than ideal, so stop dreaming and consider the best option under your less than perfect circumstances.

Look after your health - the stress response is a high energy user, so don't neglect your diet, wellbeing and fitness.

Step two - The Big Day

Anything out of the ordinary like going on holiday or moving house is going to generate nervous tension so it is all too easy to let stress spoil the moment:

1. Keep focused - The thought of what needs to be done is often more scary than actually doing it, so stick to your plan and avoid dwelling on what could go wrong.
   
   
2. Enjoy yourself - allocate as many boring tasks to friends and family so that you can have time to experience the pleasurable aspects of your big event.
   
   
3. Use flower essences such as Rescue Remedy to help you stay focused and in control. In addition, you can try a variety of Bach Original Flower Remedies to help you manage your emotions as the big day approaches.

Step three - When it's all over

Even when it is over, there will still be a period of discussion or waiting for results and this can make it hard to switch off even if you are exhausted:

1. Relax - easy to say, difficult to do, but your body will need to rest and restore itself
   
   
2. Focus on the positive - often we only remember the odd few problems so run through the whole thing again and look at what went well and what you enjoyed: there will be much more positive instances than negative ones!
   
   
3. Learn from your experience - even if it was not that great you can still get a great deal from it. Ask any successful person and they will tell you it was the things that went wrong that made them get it so right in the end.

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Unwelcome stressful events

1. Make a memory box - it is important we hang onto happy memories but having them in full view all day, everyday, can make it harder to move on.
   
   
2. Don't become isolated - it can be hard to face people but accept that you do need help and there are a lot of help out there, so don't be afraid to reach out.
   
   
3. Write down - if you put everything down on paper, it helps you to keep your mind clear of overwhelming stress. The grieving process relates to all bad events not just the death of someone close. Working through that process will help you keep a healthier perspective on your life as it is and where you can take it in the future.

Useful Techniques:

1. Deep breathing When we are nervous or stressed breathing tends to be shallow and rapid, whereas we breathe more deeply and slowly when we are relaxed. The deeper breathing expels 70 per cent of the toxins in the body and can make you feel much calmer. First work out how you are breathing by placing one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen to feel if your pace is too quick. Then rebalance your breathing by lengthening your breath, counting slowly to four as you breathe in, then to six as you breathe out. Gradually increase the lengths of your breath as you inhale until you reach seven counts and nine as you exhale. In addition, take micro relaxation breaks - just 5 deep breaths will momentarily switch off stress so make this a regular habit throughout the day.
   
   
2. Be a smiler not a frowner - Rescue your positivity Positive thinking and a willingness to accept things outside our control are good ways to reduce tension. Step back from difficult circumstances and see them objectively: the solution to a problem may come to you. You may even be able to laugh at the situation which could actually keep you sane as it causes your body to release stress-reducing endorphins - giving you an instant lift and making everything seem that little bit better.
   
   
3. Exercise your way to inner calm Have you ever noticed how the world can look much brighter after some exercise? Then you might have been hit by the 'feel good' endorphins released after working out. 15 to 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise at least three to four times a week is recommended, but the good news is that the exercise doesn't have to be exhausting and you can do anything that gets the heart rate up such as walking or jogging, yoga, tai chi or just stretching or simply start with some housework which can be a real work out! What's more, what feels better than getting in shape and finally slipping back into your favourite jeans!
   
   
4. Colours to calm Colours can have a massive impact on mood, so it's important to choose your wardrobe and decor strategically. Cooler colours tend to be calming, warmer colours tend to stimulate.
   
   
5. Aromatherapy Aromatherapists use the concentrated essential oils of plants to relieve a range of emotional and physical conditions, including those that are related to tension and anxiety. These oils can be used alone or in blends for massage, inhalation, compresses, baths and in special burners. The most recommended oils for relaxation are Camomile, Jasmine, Lavender, Petitgrain and Exotic Ylang Ylang. All of these oils can be diluted in a carrier oil for massage, sprinkled into the bath, dabbed on to a pillow if you can't sleep or burned to gently scent your home or office.
   
   
6. BachTM Original Flower Remedies The Bach Original Flower Remedies are also effective in helping you to manage your emotions to fulfil your potential. If you're constantly under pressure, having trouble sleeping or feeling overwhelmed, try looking at the underlying cause of the problem. This will help you identify which flower remedy would be best for you. Some of the most popular Bach Original Flower Remedies for common conditions include: Mimulus which can help us overcome shyness and specific fears, Larch - if a lack of confidence in your abilities is preventing you from moving forward, Elm - when feeling overwhelmed by your many responsibilities or, White Chestnut - when your mind is running over the same thing.
   
   
7. Eat your way to inner calm What we eat can make a massive difference to how we feel. Yet every day we fill up on processed, sugary foods and drink latte after latte, especially when it all gets too much! Here are a few tips for you to try and you'll soon start to feel better: * Cut out caffeine - a stimulant which will only make you feel even more tense.
   
   * Cut down on processed foods and stock up on fruit & vegetables. * Take multivitamins such as vitamins C, B3 and magnesium as stress reduces the body's absorption of almost all nutrients. *Eat five or six small meals a day to stabilise your blood sugar levels. This will help reduce the stress hormone cortisol and regulate levels of the feel-good hormones - serotonin and dopamine. * Food such as cottage cheese, pasta, avocados, bananas and skimmed milk can really calm you down. All are rich in a protein called tryptophan, which the body uses to make serotonin - a sleep and mood enhancer. * Eat slowly and take the time to chew your food thoroughly - 18% of digestion occurs in the mouth.
   
   
8. Meditate for inner calm Meditation has been shown to boost the immune system, calm the mind, get rid of negative thoughts and even fight disease. Millions of people swear by it! The whole point of meditation is to still the brain, ignore thoughts coming into your mind and let them drift out again. The more you practise meditation the quieter your thoughts will become. Set aside five minutes every day when you won't be interrupted.